Some of my Mothering lessons were learned long ago.
The understanding that "Lack of sleep is miserable, but not crippling unless you get all dramatic about it" was solidified before I was fifteen. College etched it into my psyche permanently.
The enduring need for flexibility, music, the ability to rework a schedule for the 28th time today, and keeping paper towels within arm's reach at all times... I knew all about those, too.
But, I've learned several new ones this last year. This is not meant to be derogatory, or even snarky. I love my daughter more than life, and wouldn't trade her for anything, and I adore caring for her.
However, I care for her better when I observe the following rules:
- Don't sit down to do a project. You will stare at it, and work slowly, and probably fall asleep. You may never get up again. Or rather, you will get up - because your Little One(s) will need you - but you will resent it much more than if you'd kept standing.
- If you only have ten minutes to sleep, don't. It is less painful to walk outside barefoot in sub-zero temperatures than it is to be woken up ten minutes into Way-Past-Exhausted sleep.
- Remember that "You won't feel like doing it later either." This is a key lie I tell myself: "I'll come back to it after ABC is done." No, probably I won't. Probably then, I'll decide to do DEF first. Or GHIJKLMNOP. Pretty much anything else on earth than that task which I'm honestly, absolutely avoiding. Don't sugar coat your avoidance. Simply knock the task out, as fast as possible, so it can stop bugging you.
- Wait long enough; it will pass. Some days are lost causes by 1 p.m. Maybe just accept it. Don't give up, or scream, or despair. Just get to the end of today, and let it go. It's not worth the emotional loss of analyzing at 10 p.m. why your life is always so disorganized and How do all those other women do this?!
Go to bed. Try again tomorrow.
It may or may not be better than today, but at least you'll be a tad more rested. Maybe.
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