Now we twitch between rushing around trying to do everything we meant to do across the last half year, and simply not caring and letting him come home to a messy, normal home. Part of me wants to do everything in advance of his coming home, so we can just lie around (and so he can be very impressed with me.) But, part of me just wants him to come home, and have him help do all this. *grin*
I feel a mix of emotions. I'm nervous about reintegration. I think we've stayed close, emotionally. I feel like we've stayed connected. We sure have tried. But, we still haven't lived together or done life together for ages. Little One has doubled in age, and many details from his world in particular have been veiled from us for months. I don't know if he's been shot at; I don't know if he's mentally different. I know he'll be jetlagged. I know he's psyched to come home and we can't wait to have him home. I know the euphoria will fade. I just don't know how things will settle after that.
Before Daughter was born, I felt similarly anxious. Change was coming; adjustment would have to happen - but I wasn't sure how to picture any of it.
And Husband wisely remarked, "It'll probably be like when we were first married."
"But, that was horrible!" I winced. "I don't want to do that again!"
"Well, ok - but basically our old normal may go away -- but, if we wait long enough, there will be a new normal... It will come. We just need to outlast the icky middle phase. And communicate along the way, and not take it personally if we or the other person doesn't feel what we expected."
So... since I haven't been able to talk to him much lately, this is my game plan. Lifted from our old game plan. Wish me luck.
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