Adding to my list of what wasn't included in those parenting books...
• Don’t let your toddler wear clothes while they eat.
• Definitely don’t let your toddler walk while they eat.
• Bibs are stupid. (How does this industry even survive?!) Professional haircutting capes work faintly better.
• Always have steel wool on hand, somewhere in your house.
• If an inanimate object has a voice, the toddler will utterly obey it. Use this to your advantage.
• If they won’t eat that vegetable, try freezing it. Re-serve them the frozen version in a few hours. We’ve no idea why, but this totally works…
• When you must trim those grimy hairs falling in your toddler’s eyes, give them a piece of buttered toast first. Encourage them to rub it all over their head. Way easier to cut oiled hair.
• Expired Alka-Seltzer Tablets make amazing water toys.
• If they are happy at the park, don’t rush away from the park for the sake of your to-do list. It is infinitely better for you to be bored and twitchy than for them to be.
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