It's a tough age, people tell me. Little One can't communicate yet, but has very pronounced (sometimes irrational) opinions. Lately, she arches her back and shrieks, claws at my face and flops onto the floor in furious despair. This is quite a shift from her typically-sweet, often-mellow, amazingly-smiley former personality.
But, I love having a pre-toddler. It's so easy to relate to her. I mean, who doesn't want to scream and hit things, when someone takes away your newly-discovered toy? You don't care that it might electrocute you, or choke you, or poke out an eyeball. You only feel sorrow that your toy is disappearing, and rage because that big person was strong enough to pry it from your wee hand!
Psychologists tell me that it's helpful to empathize with your child, and to articulate their emotions to them. Don't get angry, they say, just help your child work through their emotional moment and don't take it personally.
This seems intuitive to me. Sure, I feel a little frustrated when she crawls right back to the forbidden bookshelves and jerks out another paperback. But, I understand her reaction, too. So, when I sternly stride over to remove the book from her grip, and she flails in my arms and tries to rush away panicked, I want to cuddle her, and kiss her cheek, and reassure her of my love. Sometimes, in fact, I have to make sure I actually stay stern long enough.
The narration is instinctive. "Yes, I understand that you wanted that book and feel upset now, but the books are no-no's, and you're not allowed to play with them. You need to go play with something else that's ok for you. Here, how about your ball? Let's play with the fun ball instead! Look - it bounces!"
I find it cathartic to watch her express herself so honestly. I wish I could do that. Kids are so frank. I think it's awesome.
Or maybe, I'm just new to this whole parenting gig.
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