Tuesday, January 11, 2011

So, I'm new here

And after a few months, I’ve come to several conclusions about this base…
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If you’re a scrounger, the Base Thrift Store is your utopia.  Last week, I bought a skirt, a workout DVD, and a humidifier (all in great condition) for a grand total of $2.75.  Need I say more?!  Totally worth the hassle to arrive within the paltry, 4-hour window of opportunity (count yourself lucky if yours is open more than ours), each Thursday.

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                At this commissary, avocados cost somewhere between $0.89 and $4.12.  After investigating, I’ve decided that the price (on any given day) is determined by a complex equasion (which is re-calculated daily) involving the current phase of the moon, the mood of the manager’s dog, and how (over/under – but never perfectly) ripe the remaining (few) avocados are.

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                It’s cold here!  Today, at 10:20 a.m., Weather.com told me that it “felt like -2” out there.   No snow - just bone-chilling wind.  Now, we PCSed from Arizona/Alabama, and we think that below-zero wind chills are horrific degrees of frigid.  But, evidently, everyone else on base PCSed from even colder places;  I realized this, when I kept glimpsing t-shirts and shorts (!) as I lingered in our SUV, hovering over the heat vents, before I could psych myself across the glacial BX parking lot!  How do you people do it?

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                Everyone loves a volunteer.  BUT, if you don’t volunteer around here… you’re often volun-shouldered.  You know, that silent thing women often do, where they all casually sip their coffee, with expectant, raised eyebrows, waiting tacitly and endlessly for you to volunteer yourself?  Because after all, they KNOW you’re a freelance writer; so why can’t you manage their group newsletter again?  Of course you can...

                (Oh, you worked as a Starbucks barista, too?  Wonderful!  You can also be the Hospitality Coordinator!)

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                If/when you (finally cave and thus) do volunteer, you will be given a TITLE.  (It will often be shortened into an acronym.  Naturally.)  And once you have a TITLE, you must attend MEETINGs.   And when you (warily) attend the first MEETING, you'll realize that you know everyone else at the MEETING – in fact, almost the entire group is at the MEETING!  Because apparently, they all got volunteered for TITLES, too. 

My current, rough estimate is that 79% of each group on base also sits on the committee/board/leadership for that group.  It’s like a way to make us feel included.

‘Cept, I worked in corporate America for a long time, and I’m not terribly infatuated with meetings anymore… soooo, can I just write the newsletter from home?  Maybe you could just email me the Minutes, along with the group’s favorite coffee flavor?

Awesome, thanks.  You guys are the best.  ;-)

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