Today was a rough day. Possibly because last night, we got absolutely zero sleep. Tough times, with a little one. Plus, I've been extra lonely lately.
However, I got my hair trimmed today, and I expected that to lift my morale. And Halloween was tonight, so I wagered that handing out candy and watching cute kids in costumes would help our evening pass, and cheer us.
And it might have, if not for my dwindling tolerance for insensitive comments and passive-aggressive bragging. Seems everyone I met today offered one, or both.
Maddening, when you really needed sympathy.
It's entirely possible that the problem is me. Admittedly, I can easily feel that someone is hinting at their superiority, when they're not. (At least, I think they're not. Who can really prove these things...) And it's always annoying when it seems like someone is bragging about their amazing life, even at points when you feel quite confident in your own accomplishments.
So, it's really annoying when they flaunt smugly, and you don't feel so impressive right about then.
* * *
Tonight, an encounter from last week was my comfort. One of my old friends now has a young toddler, and also a foster child of the same age. She's involved in half a dozen impressive pursuits on the side, and keeps her house clean and her husband fed and seems so utterly poised, to me.
I called her, several days ago. We talked briefly, while she supervised her little ones on the playground - then she had to go; they needed her full attention. But before that point, I asked, "How do you manage?" She chuckled wearily, "I cry, many days."
I called her, several days ago. We talked briefly, while she supervised her little ones on the playground - then she had to go; they needed her full attention. But before that point, I asked, "How do you manage?" She chuckled wearily, "I cry, many days."
I didn't expect that answer. She's the epitome of tidy, structured, calm competence. She controls her emotions better than most of us women, and disciplines her thoughts consistently. I've never known anyone more clear-headed, and mature-acting.
But, bless her for answering simply and truthfully. Those four words were unbelievably freeing.
If SHE cries... then it must be ok for me to cry, too.
If SHE cries... then it must be ok for me to cry, too.
Evidently, life's heaviness isn't always tied to how willingly or ably we bear it. Sometimes, it's just that heavy.
